This latest Ask Lexi entry comes to us at just the right time, while we’re trying to make sense of Stefan and Elena breaking up and what this might mean for Delena. I’m hoping she’s hovering somewhere around Stefan now, giving him that extra little bit of love that only a good friend can offer.
Question from Activia: What are your thoughts about Delena?
Sorry about the less than timely response, but there was that Halloween party that lasted for days and then the hangover. Then there’s the council meeting that I had to attend. Things got backed up. Anyway…
I have no thoughts about Delena actually. Quite frankly it’s wasted gray matter space.
This pairing in anything other than a loose sort of friendship, defies all limits of sense and sensibility.
Elena’s emotional needs are immeasurable–trust, safety, loyalty, worth, respect, love. Real love, not abusive ‘do as I say’ love. Not love where the desire is for her to conform to certain ideas. Not fantasy love–the kind where the dream of what could be outweighs the reality of who she is.
Her wants are measurable–happiness, laughter, passion, comfort, growth, selflessness and a life partner who is able to meet her needs and fulfill her wants.
When emotional needs are steeped in guilt and shame, there’s a weird sort of disconnect with who you are. You lose track of that necessary essence and what consumes you is a sort of [unconscious] self depreciating mind set. Resisting fear and embracing faith is hard in an unfamiliar environment.
The thing about romantic self preservation is that even if you fantasize about other physical or emotional choices (whether it’s for temporary comfort or attraction or curiosity) the sense of self and the sense of destiny will outlast temporary insanity.
The idea of a meaningful Delena relationship [now] is powerless. Power is where you’ve been, who you’ve been with. Power is who facilitates the ‘birth’ of who you are; of the things you can accomplish; of your sense of purpose. A purposeful life is the difference between being lost or found. Being lost is powerless. Power of love is not where you are, it’s where you’ve been.
Amen, Lexi. If you’d like to ask Lexi a question, please do so in the comment section.