We’re almost mid-season now: how do you feel about the way Elena and Damon have been portrayed so far as a couple, and what’s your take on the Stelena vs Delena dynamics?
Sorry for my tardy reply, my head’s been in a whirl trying to absorb the doppelganger high jinx that has brought about changes here. It’s a strange sort of reality for me having someone here on TOS that looks like Stefan and has some of his qualities, but is his opposite in many ways. But enough of that.
Elena and Damon’s relationship has been portrayed exactly like it is—a soulless, uninspiring, toxic waste of emotions. A relationship built on quicksand is doomed. There is a kind of greed within the relationship that is stunning in its display, and it’s not the greed of ‘wanting’ or desire for each other necessarily; it’s the greed of taking [more emotional aptitude] rather than giving.
Their words of affection which are few and far between come only with situations that threaten the stagnant fabric or shaky stability of their togetherness. Their union was cultivated in a climate of fear and highly intense life changing events, and so they are caught in this maze of an illusion of ‘happiness’; yet not understanding or appreciating the difference between thinking they deserve to be happy vs knowing whether they are worthy of happiness.
The differences between the Stelena and Delena dynamic are many. Damon and Elena love at each other. Their fantasy about being with each other remains just that—and it’s that fantasy that they hold on to in spite of the dead and empty promise of it. The so-called choice that Elena made was not just between Damon and Stefan, it was a choice between who she should be and who she’s playing at being.
As for Stefan and Elena’s love? It’s alive and bigger than they can harness. It’s selfless and guilt-free. It’s the difference between acknowledging truths and accepting lies. It’s the answer to questions and antidote to mindlessness. The love that is shared between Stefan and Elena, I believe cannot be defined or pigeonholed. Yet the simplest and most compelling difference between the two is ultimately about this statement: “I love you because of who you are and who I am when I’m with you.”