#TVD 8×15 {#WerePlanningaJuneWedding}

Recap by Deb

I’m not sure how to start apart from saying that if there were ANY episodes I could’ve missed across the lifetime of TVD, this one would be in the top 10. I am even struggling to come up with an alternative title….but, “We’re Dismembering the Whole Show” kinda fits the proverbial bill. I never believed writing could get this bad (imho)–but there’s little time left now, so I suppose the writers are casting aside any remaining integrity of the characters. They are, imho, doing a Ripper on TVD.

Apparently, this episode has set us up for the “major big death” that will really impact the fans (I’m paraphrasing JP–may she walk the Walk of Shame for decades). In this, the penultimate episode, all of the characters–every single one to the last, I suspect–has died and ‘come back’ over the last 8 years. So, the threat of anyone’s appearance or sudden departure has no impact. All the main characters have died and returned multiple times, in one fashion or another. Who really cares anymore?

The only purpose of this episode, imho, was to marry off Steroline, thereby securing the fate of Delena, in some fashion, for the Finale. Stefan and Caroline are now the epic married couple. Yup, they tied the knot compliments of Damon, who had become ordained as a minister and actually used the word “epic” before he started the ceremony. If there ever was a word overused by the TVD writers, it’s “epic”. Their use reminds me of the boy who cried wolf–everything is seemingly so “epic” on this show that I probably wouldn’t be able to recognize “epic” if it came and hit me in the bloody face.

Some of the moments in this episode?
Well, there’s a plan to send Katherine back to Hell. I confess to tuning out for much of the rationale for why we have a hell when we were explicitly informed that there was no Hell, no The Other Side, no nothing…..but apparently……oh who the f!ck cares anymore, deb…..the point is that now there’s a Hell, and we’re sending Katherine back to it with yet another epic blast of bullshit, compliments of Dorian. Alaric was all moon-dog about Caroline when he confronts the fact that the surrogate mother of his children is marrying Stefan. I confess I was completely confused by his little speech to his side-kick about “those we’ve lost have helped us to become a family?” Huh? From where I’m sitting, your little ‘family’ has been one of the most dysfunctional, incestuous, murderous, and arguably amoral group of individuals I’ve ever seen on TV. So, don’t cry for me, Alaric–the truth is you haven’t been that “nice of a bunch” in the last 8 years.

Then we had the brothers collecting Katherine’s bones in order for said epic blast of bullshit to occur–don’t worry, we’ve seen it before; it’s yet another knife made out of blah, blah, blah. Inevitably the brothers drink. Damon conveniently provided us with an historical account of the countless epic blasts of bullshit we’ve had to endure over the series, and the list was impressive. Even Damon couldn’t sustain the energy to continue before needing a big swig of whiskey. Here, Here. Damon delivers his little human bro home, and we’re set up to believe that the “something old” is from Stefan. Ok, but after all the epic blasts of bullshit, did you TVD writers REALLY think that I thought it REALLY was from Stefan? Talk about “something old” …….I will say, though, I had a tear in my eye when Damon toasted Sheriff Forbes. I felt a tinge of regret, perhaps that I had not stopped watching the show a long time ago.

Then there was Caroline fretting about not being able to plan her wedding with all her wedding books; and Bonnie saying she couldn’t enjoy Caroline’s moment, but then she did; and Kelly Donovan–WHOA…..Kelly Donovan??? Yes, little SEsters, you heard right–Matty’s mommy came back, but just for about 7 mins. She didn’t look too good imho, particularly as she kept puking up very charcoal looking blood before she’d slice someone’s neck with what looked like a knife you might use to cut fruit from a tree??? I suggested some time ago, on another board, that Kelly Donovan died in Paris by falling (inside joke). Imagine my delight to hear that she had died from a fall two years ago. Nice bit of background story for a character who’s been gone for 4 years, and back for 7 mins….leave out major bits of SLs, but give us details about a minor character in whom we have no investment. Cheers.

Then there is whole threat about Katherine sending all of MFs to Hell. This SL really fuses my understanding, and not in a good way. Kai is in his own Hell, but presumably one that isn’t controlled by Katherine…who controls Hell because Cade is dead…so..I’m sorry, what kind of Hell is this? It seems, to me, all the people from Hell are very well and trendily dressed, have good haircuts, look like they’ve been working out, and have some social life among themselves. I thought Vicky looked good, and Cade, imho, was a snazzy dresser with great sartorial flare. I don’t know, but I’m confused about how bad Hell is, given the shit that goes on in MFs.

I could go on and on….

My biggest disappointment, however, is the final die cast for Stefan. Ok, he can marry Caroline–he’s human, he’ll die and she’ll be bereft as she won’t die, so ultimately there’s is a sad story. Ok, he can look unbelievably youthful having been squirted with 1 syringe of the Cure (remember what they shoved down our throats–you gotta drink it ALL). I don’t understand why Katherine aka the biggest of biggest of the biggest baddest of baddest of bad assess in the history of biggest of biggest….why Katherine started getting a smoker’s cough and losing her hair within what seemed like days, but, she did and he hasn’t. Ok, Stefan can continue to hound Bonnie for her forgiveness, and conveniently be the one into whose arms she collapses because Vicky rings the Bell (nice booties, Vic).

What is not OK for me, however, is for the writers to produce, at the very END, a “sanitized Stefan”, and they have, imho. Stefan is two-dimensional human, remorseful and loving with a soft-focused camera lens. Damon, the craftiest and nastiest of little shits in the series, spouts “don’t worry, little brother, it wasn’t YOU. It was Ripper Stefan; you’re not Ripper Stefan anymore….”. IMHO, Stefan has been reduced to a caricature of himself–a Ken-like doll who would never harm a fly, let alone rip apart his victims. The bad Ripper is now dead. Too bad–I would have rather seen Stefan develop the strength to control his Beast, his Ripper, and realize, like all heroes, there is great responsibility in great power. Instead, the writers give us “good” and “bad”, and there we have it: no development, no learning, no growing…nope, just settling for 2 dimensions because it’s an easier narrative to write.

Given Stefan’s current state of character, I am hoping he is the “major death” that occurs next week. I suspect I’ll have to watch the most epic of epic blasts of bullshit; and, somehow, Stefan will have gotten himself ordained, and marry Elena and Damon. At this point, none of it seems to make much difference. It’s time to say goodbye…..